Caustic Thoughts

Random funny thoughts with a taste of Pinoy and a hint of acid.

Education

When Numbers Fail Me

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“Whoever said money can’t buy happiness simply didn’t know where to go shopping.”

—Bo Derek

To the utter dismay of my husband, words never failed me, but numbers always did, which allows my husband to get back at me for not failing at words by relying on my inability to compute his exact monetary worth. I wish I could use words to earn tons of cash but in the Philippines, the kind of words I excel in can only earn either impoverished fame or the ire of the politicians with the big guns.

According to CNNMoney.com, the highest paying jobs all have something to do with math skills. I hope my daughter takes after her father and finishes a course that can actually pay the monthly bills. They say money isn’t the answer to everything but it sure helps to have some.

Breeding Thieves

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Take advantage of [the] misfortune of this country if you want to survive.
-Alleged advice from one bigwig in office to another
Do you remember the goody-goody two shoes apprentice nerd everyone made fun of in high school because he wouldn’t let anyone copy his assignments or peek at his coded notes? I wasn’t exactly that kid but I almost fit his shoes. Of course, I didn’t make a fuss about lending my notes or swapping minor assignments. Quizzes and tests were different matters though. The veiled nun in my head kept visiting me at night giving me sermons on the evils of cheating. I also resented the fact that I had to study for hours only to drag my feet groggily to a row of expectant fresh-faced classmates who did not need cucumber slices or coffee. But I let them copy anyway because the torture of ostracism was more painful than the permanence of eye bags or the imaginary monologue of a woman in a penguin suit. 
There was one thing I couldn’t stand though and that was me copying from them on major exams. I cheated rarely in high school and when I did, it was only because the cryptic symbols of math looked the same as chicken scratches to me except that algebraic gibberish threatened to give me a heart attack. But it was when I was the one copying that the nun in my dreams brought me a whip.
Eight years after my last year in high school, I held authority over a high school social studies class of my own. For two years, I threw periodic fits over identical schoolwork. In my time, we had the sense to rephrase and change the context of assignments that we copied. Today, kids rip off pages from Wikipedia, photocopy them ten times, write different names on each copy and submit to the teacher. What makes them do this? Is it laziness, opportunism, stress or the culture of dependence?
I got so tired of reading perfectly written paragraphs that I made sure none of them would ever copy again. I made the skill of analysis a requirement for all my assignments, quizzes and tests. I stopped asking what and when and started asking my students how and why. Even if they opened their books in class they never found the answers until they learned to analyze by themselves. That cured cheating in my class.
Many of the non-teaching individuals I know never could understand my zero tolerance for cheating. They say it’s always been a part of school life and no student these days will survive without using each other. That’s just the kind of attitude that breeds the kind of future scoundrels rallies are organized against. Of course, I had many classmates who were chronic cheaters who grew up to be upstanding citizens of some other country, but would you rather take the chance hoping your kids won’t grow up into thieves in office? Tell them it’s ok to cheat a little to survive and they have a 50% chance of growing up into those thieves.
Do you want to clean up this country? Start with the kids. Tell them it is never acceptable to compromise and that cheating in any form is never right. If they’ve never had nightmares of nuns, you’re the only one who can help.

English Campaign

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It is shameful. I cannot bear to imagine that many schools, organizations and institutions still require their people to speak only in English.
I suppose it is admirable that many Filipinos have a good grasp of English. It just absolutely perplexes me though that in some quarters, those who slip are fined, rebuked or ridiculed. If memory serves me right, it was only a couple of weeks ago that a beauty contestant became the recipient of all words unholy for her poor grammar and her inability to express herself in English. A politician went so far as to say that her performance was proof of our country’s declining quality of education.
I daresay shame on him and on anyone who puts a premium on another country’s mother tongue over our own. I do understand that mastering English is a must for most of us. It is after all most people’s major key to either get call center jobs that are perfect manufacturers of the living dead or get overseas employment from where a few Filipinos have come home in white boxes.
It is the poverty issue yet again. I don’t think we lack racial pride. We just can’t afford to speak in our own language. Learn to speak in English or else you will never survive or escape the sinking Pearl of the Orient that has sprung as many leaks as there are islands. I think the reason why the Japanese, Koreans and Chinese still speak their mother tongues better than they do English is because they feel no need to abandon ship.
Note: Yes, I write in English so naturally I have to be defensive. I have to write in English because I too can’t afford to write in Filipino but I actually write better in Filipino.

Teacher Entrepreneurs

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You know how they say that teaching is a noble profession. I’m not about to argue with that. In fact, I love teaching and I did teach for two years while working as an HR officer for a school. I admit that I liked teaching better than the emotional mayhem of employee office intrigue that struck my office on a daily basis. So why didn’t I choose to pursue teaching?

After two years of excruciating spider veins and hoarse vocal chords, all I had was the so called psychological fulfillment benefit of teaching (which is really debatable because I personally know teachers who confuse fulfillment with the satisfaction of knowing that they finally know better than a whole classroom full of people). I had mouths to feed; I wasn’t earning well and I wasn’t about to go through the beaten path of supplemental earning. It’s not because I have any real moral qualms about it. It’s really because I’ve never been good at selling.

I remember my husband’s stories about studying in a public school. They were expected to buy from their teacher’s hidden store of edible merchandise. My husband was at a better position than his classmates. He was the designated seller (and was therefore entitled to leftover freebies) while his teacher diverted the attention of the roving principal.

Unlike my husband, I studied in a private school and vending to students and parents is strictly prohibited in most private schools. Of course, I know better now. Private school teachers don’t sell food like some public school teachers do and they definitely don’t sell to students unless they’d like to get a one way ticket to unemployment. Some private school teachers however inconspicuously carry glossy Avon, Sara Lee and Natasha catalogs while principals, coordinators and HR officers (like me) discreetly look the other way or even secretly place orders themselves.

Okay so there’s nothing inherently wrong with a teacher selling during her free time but they didn’t have to if they were paid right.