Caustic Thoughts

Random funny thoughts with a taste of Pinoy and a hint of acid.

Married to Google: My Blogging Tip for Domestic Bliss

by

One of the most controversial statements that rocked the Pinoy blogosphere in 2008 came from socialite Malu Fernandez. For those who don’t remember or never knew about the foot in her mouth incident, this is what she had to say about blogging and bloggers:

“But blogging, aside from Perez Hilton and other big time bloggers (you know who you are) is for me a slacker job or a medium and pastime for lonely people to connect. Unless you’re in bloody Siberia or in a Gulag prison, try stepping outside your comfort zone and turn off the laptop or pc, you just might find some real live people to talk to instead of typing away in cyber space.” —Malu Fernandez in Manila Standard Today

Needless to say, her statement, name and reputation were all dragged into the virtual town square and beaten till blue. I participated gleefully in the beating but even at that time, I had no idea to what extent Fernandez had been mistaken.

A few months after the beating, I met a number of great Pinoy bloggers, the quiet, golden ones who get checks from Google every month but who are wise enough not to brandish their skills and earnings in plain sight. If they did, I bet Malu would have that foot throat deep by now.
I had no idea so many Pinoys enjoy secret success online. I wish I were one of them. This is no longer about the lure of unrestrained self-expression. I was never one to blog about the quality of my baby’s breath or my decade delayed angst to begin with. This is about finally finding something I would love to do for the rest of my waking hours without having to beg at the table or perform intricate article tricks for scraps from other blog owners.
I must admit that inspiration has driven me into blogging addiction. It had gotten so bad that at one point, it took an assortment of creepy, crawling critters that had accumulated over what they must have thought was my decomposing carcass to extricate me from the Matrix. I found out after waking up that clawed, canned goods-subsisting creatures in dreadlocks had replaced my husband and child while I was away.
But now that I’m done with nail clipping and hair grooming, I’m not about to volunteer for admission into a rehab or bloggers’ anonymous support group. I’ve decided to dive deeper into my addiction at least until after I have achieved blogging success or after the orderlies take me away.
I suspect though that much depends on how well I use the blogging tips I’ve learned last year. There were a lot of them but one lesson seems to stand out in my mind right now:
Be loyal to Google or prepare to be a whore or gigolo.
Google is like a domestic partner, the half of the relationship that holds the purse strings and the rewards that go with it. Get caught looking at the sexy competition and you will get publicly asphyxiated and stripped of your page rank and Adsense earnings till you and your blog are cold, naked and humiliated in the blogosphere public market. If one desires domestic bliss thou shall not overuse keywords, participate in traffic exchange programs and write paid posts. Google is a demanding spouse.
If, on the other hand, you take offense at Google’s lordship there is no stopping you or Google from filing for annulment. In this case, you’d better be prepared to sell yourself body and soul. Without Google, you’ll never survive with just one mistress or boy toy.
Now I have to decide if my blog will be a meek wife or a multi-talented adulteress in 2009.

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Anonymous says

    Hmm, my relationship with Google is rocky lately. Yet, we have been together for only 3 months. I have put a lot of effort ($$) but it is not reciprocated.

    Then again, they say one should not give up easily on a relationship. I guess, I’ll stick around and work this out. See if my relationship with Google will have a happy ending – make more money online. 🙂

  2. the philippine daily idiot says

    Hey, thanks for the words, grace. Sorry, I lurked a lot but i've been reading this blog. i'm attuned to your kind of writing. so, you also maintain triviafacts&fiction?

    re. the evil and elitist malu, she has a sucessor, i guess. it's caloy conde. you know, i love malu. we righteous bloggers need villains once in a while. hehehe.

    my relationship w/ google is just googling. even without us earning off google, we still thank google. it gives monopoly a good name. it's the most paradoxical monopoly the world has known. it earns by encouraging everything to be free.

    now i got you some test: can u understand this? –>

    kasabot ba ka ani. murag taga cdo man cguro ka. dapit ra ko sa cdo pero ga-puyo somewhere else.

    if you don't understand it, ignore it. merry xmas, grace, and to ur loved ones. may you have a great year ahead!

  3. Anonymous says

    hi grace! thanks for dropping by my blog. I remember you as the first winner of the blog awards challenge.

    google can be the best friend of bloggers, or their worst enemy. right now, mine is somewhat a love-hate relationship. I thank google for adsense, traffic and the page rank. I hate google for taking away the page ranks of my other blogs, thereby reducing paid post opportunities. pero ok na. lq-lq lang gud.

    happy new year to you!

  4. Pinoy Wit says

    Tim- Yeah, you’ve got to stick it out a bit longer. It’s gonna be rocky but if the others can do it, so can you. Google can be a caring wife once you start bringing in more customers. hehe

    the Philippine daily idiot- wow. thanks, i didn’t know you read some of the other posts. you know what, i also love the way you write. makes my day all the time 🙂

    yup facts and fiction is mine. just another one of my freaky past times 🙂

    um, i passed your test. i’m living in cdo now but i was born in luzon and grew up in visayas 🙂

    ceblogger- happy new year to you too. haha. i like the idea— lq lq. yeah i guess ingon ana gyud. pero ako hadlok makig lq kay basin bulagan ko.

  9. Anonymous says

    Blogging is not for slackers. It requires time, effort and determination.

    I consider it a hobby that is not very dissimilar to more popular hobbies such as photography, cross stitching and writing fiction.

    Blogging is an expression and the great thing about it is that it is an expression that can be shared with the rest of the world.

    Come on, even Barack Obama blogs. Now I don’t think anybody can call him a slacker.

    🙂