Talk about pressure. I’d imagine that shortly after mastering your ABCs, adults stood over you during a family party expecting a charming answer. You would have breathed a sigh of relief when the adults smiled and patted your head after you blurted out the first thing you remembered from your community helpers picture book.
|Career contemplation. In the end Dora decides to pursue her lifelong passion.|
It took many seconds before I could think of an answer for my adults. I was thinking I didn’t want to be an engineer like my father because his textbooks had scary looking squiggly characters on them that looked like they came from a can of worms. At that time, I did not want to be a teacher like my mother either because she always looked like a bag of nerves.
So I told them I wanted to be a dentist. But I was as likely to jump into the field of dentistry as my molars were from developing athlete’s foot. After watching several episodes of Star Trek, I decided I’d rather be an astronaut instead. I quickly abandoned the idea when I found out that I could not even “Find X” (X seems perpetually lost too) in high school and that owning a scientific calculator does not make people develop an understanding for calculus.
I’ve had to undergo several different mutations where I thought I finally figured out the perfect identity. It’s seems however, that it’s now really anyone’s guess what I want to be or what I am now. Unlike Bong Revilla who is absolutely certain that he is a senator and not a thief or a wolf in senator’s clothing, I have absolutely no idea what I am.
I’ve given up trying to put a deadline on becoming a successful someone because I realized that the more I panicked, the more I missed out on other things like sleep, food, fun, my kids’ birthdays… oh, and is that my life passing me by? I didn’t even recognize it.
So I resolve to be calmer. The answer to that decades old question will come to me and it doesn’t have to be right this very minute.