Monday, October 14, 2013

Finally Found the One

My parents are pretty cool, if only because, growing up, they could hardly care less if I brought home an academic medal or guavas. So while other kids had to endure advanced classes in some seemingly esoteric subject; maintain grades achievable only by those close to insanity; learn 99 ways to pain through ballet and karate; and master a foreign language, I was in the backyard making mud pies and getting acquainted with primitive organisms in pools of rainwater. In short, I enjoyed being a kid. It wasn’t until college that I was advised to do my best.

Twenty years from now, nobody will care how many ribbons you got in pre school

Of course I know the importance of training kids to aim for academic excellence. It develops confidence and instills discipline. I do believe in encouraging kids to do better in school, but only if kids really want to and not just because their parents desire it with a violence bordering on criminal, in which case, the parents, not their kids, should be standing on the school stage with medals round their necks.

Most importantly, I think the pursuit of good grades should not be made at the expense of values formation. When kids are made to feel that they must achieve something by hook or by crook, there’s a 50% chance they’ll turn into crooks. If they aren’t taught to achieve goals legitimately and honorably, they will be swine in the making, heirs to Janet Napoles and Mark Solis.

My friends joke that I secretly like to collect school uniforms because I’ve moved my child to three different schools already. Her two previous schools focused more on developing the mental abilities of students to the point of developing telepathy than on stressing the importance of honest, hard work.

I think I’ve finally found the one though. A small indication of this is the Models of Honesty list, of which my kid is a part of, on the school bulletin board where normally, other schools display top ten lists. Side story: Yes, my daughter is in that list because she is super honest. She never fails to tell me in public how fat I am and how much I need to exercise.

To be clear, I’m not saying I’m leaving values training to the school. I’m saying I want my kid to be in a school where its values are aligned with mine so that training is consistent even when I’m not looking.

I just hope we can afford this school long term. Apparently, charity is not one of their values.

7 comments:

  1. My parents aren't too keen on academic skills too. Of course they'll reward me/my siblings if we excelled at school and they'll somehow upset if we didn't pass or something, but they don't get v violent. We may not be honor students, but at least we weren't forced to hit the books and we enjoyed our childhood without breaking the rules. I think kids are prone to breaking rules when we expect more from them. But that's just from my point of view. :)

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  2. My parent's used to be so strict with my grades. But eventually they understood what I was going through with school naman.. kaya ayun :) So far, they're happy naman na kahit I didn't graduate with honors, I got a decent job now naman. :)

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  3. I'll never be too strict with my daughter's grades when she goes to school in the future. I think all she needs is my support in helping her do well in school and in what she loves.

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  4. My parents are not that strict with my grades, they never pressure me getting high grades but I always see to it that I always get good grades to make them feel happy. And now that I have a kid, will do the same. Will never pressure my lil kiddo, I just want her to enjoy her studies. Pray ko lang na walang bagsak. Hehe. :)

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    1. Hehehe. Tama. Importante walang bagsak. ;)

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  5. During elementary days my cousins and I were not allowed to watch TV and play we should study on school days. My mom, uncle and aunt are not pressuring us to be honor student but they are strict on focusing on studies and should maintain a passing and decent grades.
    This time around, Im not pressuring my son too. And I am glad I enrolled him to a school whom students are not pressured to be at the top 10 in class but to take his time in learning and keep the interest in studying high. And not to mention learning with Christian values as well. :)

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    1. That's exactly the kind of school that I think is best for our kids Venus, a school that'll teach values over personal gain/achievement. :) I'm glad your boy isn't stressed out over academics.

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