Saturday, August 17, 2013

Ten Billion Peso Pork Barrel Scam Chapter 2 - Finding Janet Napoles

My parents once offered me advice on how to get rich.

Mom’s tip: Start your own school.
Dad’s tip: Start your own religion.

Napoles in her "wanted" photo
Now that I’ve grown in wisdom and sarcasm, I’ve got my own piece of advice for would be millionaires: Start your own fake non government organization (NGO).

Clearly, I got my irreverent streak from my dad, but I’m really only half joking. After all, that is supposedly how Janet Napoles made her billions.

Napoles allegedly created fake NGOs that each became the recipient of a number of law makers’ Priority Development Assistance Funds (PDAF/pork barrel), then purportedly split the funds between herself and the Legion of Doom in senate and congress. Thus was born by covert caesarian section, the 10 billion peso pork barrel scam.

Tagle: Send them to the slums
(photo by Baltazar)
It’s in instances like this when I feel the pain of paying taxes most acutely. I pay with my blood, sweat, tears and sanity every year, only to find out that other people are living la vida loca with my taxes.

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Like me and countless other taxpayers and citizens, Cardinal Tagle is also heart broken over this. He suggests that those involved in the controversy should immerse themselves among informal settlers so they’ll see for themselves how the poor live. I’ve got an even better suggestion. For those found guilty, their penalty should be permanent immersion.

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As of this writing, Napoles is apparently in hiding and the authorities are hot on her heels with a warrant of arrest in relation to the illegal detention case of scam whistleblower Benhur Luy. The PNP has joined the NBI in the chase. In my city, the police might be looking for her underground.

Police 250 meters... underground? Are they looking for Napoles there?
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While we all wait, I suggest movie producers take this chance to revive the action/suspense movie genre and produce a film based on recent events. Since our movies are notorious for having total title rip offs, this movie’s title options should be promising:

1. Catch Me If You Can (cameo by Leonardo DiCaprio OR Cesar Mancao)
2. Where’s Wally Janet?
3. Finding Nemo Janet (cameo by Nemo in a fishbowl)
4. Nasaan Ka, Elisa Janet? 
5. The Untold Story: Pork Barrel Scam – God Have Mercy On Us (by Carlo Caparas)

Yes, I excel in making fun of heartbreaking news but if you want to experience depression, go ahead and read these news articles for the story so far:

Pork Barrel Scam: A Billion a Year
What Made Cardinal Tagle Cry
PNP Joins the Hunt for Napoles

14 comments:

  1. 4. Nasaan Ka, Elisa Janet?

    OMG, that just got me laughing so hard!

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  2. What a shame. These people should be more ashamed than those featured in the so called sex scandals.

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  3. Police 250 meters... underground? Hahaha! Ang funny ng caption mo sis. Anyway, ipahula na lng kaya kay Madam Auring baka alam nya kung saan nagtatago si Janet. Hehe. Hay, sana talga makita na yan pra maparusahan sa mga pinanggagawa nya (or nla). :(

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  4. Napoles with ghost NGO and foundation.. Shame on her, lot of Filipino people should have benefited more on this pork barrel scam..

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  5. Hahaha this post really entertains me! 250 meters underground... hmmm she's hiding in hell maybe? hahaha

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  6. i've heard/read tons of bad things about this janet and even seen the video and really amazing this amazing can hide despite of this scandal. I mean i am sure police or somehwere in the government knows about where she is but somehow she's paying for them so. just my opinion. There'a alot of kurakot in the government but no justice at all

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  7. Sometimes comedy and jokes like these are what sticks to our mind than lengthy articles. :)

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  8. It's really disheartening how the pork barrel scam has been taking place for so long. I hope Napoles gets her due and also those politicians who benefited.

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  9. This is attempt of making a billion within a period of time is too risky. But this controversial woman did it very well and amassed a huge sum of money. She is a wise, clever, smart, intelligent woman.

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  10. I watched the news once or twice about this and that's it. So many people are suffering down the road and yet the issue is slowly moving. I just hope that everything will straighten as it should be.

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  11. very disappointing but she can't do everything alone... they must all face the consequence of their action, that is, if there's justice. Yahweh bless.

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  12. it sure is rather depressing to hear that while the ordinary Juan Dela Cruz toiled everyday to put food on the table, another family is living like a bunch of filthy rich off the nation's taxes. shame on them! i really do hope authorities will caught up with her soon so that she can pay for her wrong doings + for her to return the money she stole from the Filipino people

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  13. spending, earning, banking, living, eating from the money of others. tama yung komunistang ideya: may 10 tao at sampung gayat na pizza. yung isang tao kumuha ng sampung gayat, isang gayat na lang yung paghahatian ng siyam na natira.

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  14. lol! although I say she's just the tip of the iceberg here - a scapegoat and that! And of course she surrendered to Pnoy too soon having been her beneficiary when he was still in Congress! Tse!

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