Thursday, April 4, 2013

Elections 2013 Senatorial Candidates - Easy on Substance, Heavy on Fluff

Political ads are like cotton candy, sweet, colorful fluff with very little substance and nutritional value. Sadly, for time poor virtual workers like me, that, and the candidates’ ability to dance like uncoordinated quadruped sticks during sorties are almost all the criteria I have to pick who to vote.

Think about it. If voters didn’t take the extra time to research, what they’d know of each candidate based on TV ads and bits and pieces of sensationalized news isn’t very encouraging.

Jack Enrile
1. Jack Enrile

Son of incumbent senator Juan Ponce “I’ve-been-ambushed” Enrile, Jack now also goes by the nickname “I’ve-been-ambushed-too-really”. Like father like son.

Notwithstanding the bullet holes, what really stands out with Jack is his campaign slogan. Translated in English: Cheap food. Lots of food. I want you to have food. I wonder if his copywriter was experiencing extreme hunger pangs when he wrote this.

JV Ejercito Like Ko Yon
2. JV Ejercito

What’s with the sign JV? His logo of three extended fingers that accompanies the slogan “Like Ko Yan” (I like that) looks a lot like arthritic claws and nothing like a Like sign. Its mysterious significance is something even Sherlock Holmes will probably never fathom.

Nancy Binay
3. Nancy Binay

The vice president’s daughter’s work experience can be summarized in a phrase - personal assistant to her father. Oh and she knows how to feed poor kids too. Nuff said.

Cynthia Villar
4. Cynthia Villar

Villar’s PR team churned out excellent campaign ads that connected with me despite Villar’s dispassionate speech about her passion in life, but in one fell swoop, she nearly demolished her team’s efforts by belittling the nursing profession. She implied it was alright for substandard nursing schools to continue operating because, “Nurses… don’t need to finish BS Nursing. These nurses want to become room nurses… They don’t need to be that good.

Her PR team should have been part of the audience when she said this on national television. They could have made Villar read their lips for the right thing to say.

Teddy Casino
5. Teddy Casino

He used to be known as the outspoken activist and champion of the marginalized. Since his senate bid started however, I seem to associate him more with jogging in the rain. A little hair flip and he’d qualify to audition for the senior edition of Boys Over Flowers. Honestly though, his wet look is mildly unsettling. He looks more like a sick puppy than Lee Min-ho. 

Jamby Madrigal
6. Jamby Madrigal

She says she’s the champion of the poor too and is anti corruption but having been born with multiple silver spoons, she has no sob stories to tell. To make up for that, her ad shows her standing wet after having been hosed by a water canon during a protest against then President Arroyo. Her wet look actually looks better than Teddy’s.
7. Richard Gordon

This guy’s got more going for him because of the work he’s done for Subic and the Red Cross but really, do we need another wet senatorial candidate picture? Really, what is it with senatorial candidates and the wet look? There must be a study somewhere proving that voters are more likely to vote for the wettest of them all.

Koko Pimentel
8. Koko Pimentel

So far as I’ve seen, all this fellow Cagayanon has is his father’s name and the story of how he got cheated out of a senate seat in the 2007 elections. He uses a zombie pig (scarier than Kris Aquino on a tantrum) in his TV ad and asks us voters to use our coconuts. Hmmm. Okay, I’m voting for Zubiri.

Edward Hagedorn
9. Edward Hagedorn 

Hagedorn has an impressive track record as the mayor of Puerto Princesa and is largely responsible for making the city known globally for its cleanliness, orderliness and eco tourism. With all that he has to boast about though, all I’ve seen so far are images of him on motorcades surrounded by beautiful girls, like some sort of playboy Captain Planet.

 This list is incomplete because my tolerance for inanity has limits. Let’s just hope these candidates perform better in office than they do in campaign ads and events.


  1. Miriam Santiago should be there. I like her so much. Even though she has many absences, my research tells me she had the most authored-co/authored bills.

  2. I like Hagedorn to win since he really did a good job in Palawan. I don't the Binays and the Villars because of 0 track record.

  3. Love your post! Haha!
    I a actually not into Politics and don't know who most the candidates are, so thanks for sumarizing it up for me haha!

  4. Cheezy campaign ads and stunts they have, I refuse to say anything I will cast my vote according to my conscience, who did or done and is doing something without too much publicity.

  5. I don't watch TV so I haven't seen their ads...

  6. Had fun reading this post. Haha! I just don't get the wet look either and don't forget their dance number whenever they are campaigning. Ugh!

  7. this post is informative it give a lot of info about the candidates for 2013 elections :)


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