Monday, July 2, 2012

Warts and Other Tales Featuring Lance Duggan

Lance Duggan
Woe to the commercial model who becomes the face of warts removal.

Who the hell is Lance Duggan? I have no idea but after seeing his face on the Mendez Medical Group’s promotional poster, I had this sudden urge to search for his name online to find out if he really had warts.

If you were a commercial model, would you seriously volunteer to be a model for a warts removal service? That’s tantamount to admitting you have them. Your name will forever be associated with the condition and people will think of you when they think of warts.

Lance should change his name. “The name’s Duggan, Warts Duggan.”

I suspect though that Lance didn’t exactly jump up and down with hand raised to volunteer to be the face of the service. I suspect Mendez randomly picked whose face goes to which service. “Oh look here, Lance gets the warts.” I bet the other models breathed a collective sigh of relief.

While we’re on the topic of a cosmetic issue and its solution, I wonder how far I would go to fix a cosmetic issue.

You know how it is when you meet casual acquaintances. In my experience, after the mandatory peck on the cheek and the “Hi, how are yous” there is nothing left to talk about so the conversation invariably turns to how much larger I’ve become and how my skin tone has drastically changed.

I almost want to say, “Call me the ugly Hulk why dontcha?”

My main physical woes are my eye bags the size of Saturn and my bum the size of Jupiter. The dark rings I can easily hide with tinted glasses but no clothing, save for a mascot’s costume, can disguise my well-endowed behind. It’s gotten so out of hand that my little daughter says she gets suffocated when she’s behind me. I suppose if a hippo needed a bum double, I would qualify.

Manong pulis here can teach me how to exercise properly.
If I had the money, would I pay for a surgical procedure? Maybe, as long as they don’t make me the bum reduction model. Oh wait, there’s also this thing called exercise. I might try that first if I manage to extricate myself from my designated snack bench in front of Lance’s poster. I bet the policemen who'll be exercising at the park with me can teach me a thing or two about keeping fit through physical exertion.


  1. If I have money, yes I might go to these cosmetics surgeries.It is a modern world so why not make the best of me if I have money to spend or even go to the gym to keep me fit.

  2. Exercising would be the cheaper alternative. I think being able to shed those unwanted pounds or toning the body is also best done through exercise and it does give you a youthful glow.

  3. lol. napanganga din ako sa name nya. haha i agree with franc though. at least exercising may have a longer and healthier effect.

  4. I would volunteer to be a model basta may bayad haha. Somehow exercising is an alternative key.

  5. The warts have been removed so it doesn't matter if he's being tagged as Warts Duggan (actually I do not know him until now). Anyway, he's being paid as a model so he benefits from it. The past doesn't defines him now. As for exercising, yes, I guess that is the cheaper alternative. However, one needs discipline!

  6. some things have to be removed, and i would agree some just left as is...

  7. Well, someone had to do the modelling part so the service can be promoted properly. At least he's getting paid to do it.

  8. I'd definitely volunteer for something that would help me and if it will pay well. Haha. And yes, exercise is the best solution and eating healthy.

  9. Speaking of warts, need to have mine removed soon. Anyhoo, I don't think I'll have a surgical procedure done. Unless I still become a star at this age. LOL.

  10. I've got warts removed too before.. expensive lang.. and yes, exercise is really needed! I had too many excuses already, time to just do it! :)

  11. it is obviously very cheap to go on exercise and be proud of your self than you changed yourself using all your powers haha! more cheaper but anyway it always depend upon a persons choice! xx

  12. Sometimes it's just in the genes though...

    Rizza (beingwell)

  13. I think staying healthy has something to do with what we eat, drink, do and with our lifestyle activities. It is good to consult to doctors and dermatologists for any skin problems that might cause major problems.

  14. I think with a face like that, he can admit to having buckteeth and what have you and had it fixed and people will be okay with it.

  15. Sorry, I have to admit to giggling while reading because of the humorous way you wrote this blog!

    You know recently I posed, and shared a picture of myself after running a 10 kilometer race, and felt how much I have changed - positively feel about my appearance.

    Not in a radical physical way, I still have here and there my "mommy of three little girl bulges", and I still have this scar on my upper leg, which made me insecure to wear shorts my entire life. But i just felt very confident about who I am.

    Sharing my own opinion on cosmetic surgery, if I have a bunch of money to spare, I'd rather give it to charity than remove my scar.

    It sounds cliche but I've learned this from long years of experience, what you feel inside is something that money can't buy and what you can change with money outside is better off helping others because it would make you feel hundreds times better, and happiness & serenity is the best natural cosmetic! :)

  16. So far, I have many physical insecurities right now. But seeing your behind kanina up close and personal, I think I won't undergo surgical procedure to have it removed. I would probably flaunt it. Sabi nga nila, if you have it flaunt it. My behind is kinda OK. My front bumper is so small that my kids would say they have drank all the milk dry. LOL!!

  17. If I had money I would take surgical procedure.. and excercise only for pleasure.

  18. If I have the money, I would go for liposuction, tummy tuck, eye bags and double chin removal. lol! I am wondering if my family would still recognize me after the procedures.

  19. You had me at "caustic."

    You are s joy to read.

    As for your post, I totally relate. I've been known to hide behind produce at the store to avoid being seen.

    I'm not sure how old you are, but a woman friend recently said, "In our 40's we start falling apart physically, and begin relying more on our wit." I don't know if that applies to you, but your wit is awfully sharp.

  20. That last picture over there is sad. ::(

    I think I saw "Lance" in one of the malls in the QC area. Does he sing? If he does, maybe that was him. He was performing for a program on Diabetes Awareness, and the old ladies in attendance were fawning over him completely. ::D

    1. Little did they know Lance's dirty little secret. Wahahaha


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