Thursday, June 14, 2012

If Only Kids Were Self-Developed

Can human kids self-develop too?

After reading Arnel Pineda’s story, I concluded that nearly everyone has abilities they can use to become successful. Even young stars who sing in the key of O (as in Off) have the uncanny ability to send teens into fits of delirium with the judicious introduction of dimples in a chorus. But just when I decided to take a shot at fame and fortune, life throws a wrench into my plans.

My bid for success will have to wait because my two kids and their nanny got food poisoned. Faster than we could sing, “I ate that moldy piece of beef and I liked it,” their bodies attempt to flush out the toxins and then it’s me with a cleaning cloth versus an endless gush of bodily solids, liquids and gases.

I hadn't seen so many Xs since high school algebra.
It didn’t take long before we had to rush one kid to the hospital for rectal bleeding and severe dehydration. We were required to force both kids to consume so much medication that I hadn’t seen so many Xs (from the Rx) since high school algebra. Since then, my eye bags have begun to grow in layers as if the first layers gave birth to second layers and had grand kids, the third layers.

I now know that being a parent is THE full time job. Everything else from pursuing a career to brushing my teeth must be done on my free time. Even when the kids aren’t sick, it takes so much time, effort, patience and resources to take care of them and raise them right.

In my case, it's tempting to be a bad parent and resort to shortcut parenting. By that I mean:

*When my daughter asks for help with math problems involving numbers above ten
Response: Go ask your father.

*When my kid asks where babies come from
Response: The FedEx guy just leaves them in doorsteps.

*When my toddler is still having difficulty forming words
Solution: Turn on the TV and let him watch Justice League for hours until he can say Batman flawlessly.

*When the kids fight downstairs while I'm working upstairs
Solution: I scream to the top of my lungs, "What's going on?" Followed by, "Whatever that is, NO!"

*When kids get frightened by a gigantic prehistoric looking cockroach
Solution: Run to the hills and hope someone else kills it.

I suppose this was what our moms were trying to warn us about when they told us, “Don’t get married and have kids before you’re physically, mentally, emotionally and financially ready.”

But you know how messages get delivered between moms and their grownup children. Somewhere in the space between our mothers’ mouths and our ears, the warning not to have kids unprepared got translated to, “I’ll nag you every single day about this.” So we left and had kids of our own.

Kids aren't born self-developed like Prony from Bohol. All they come packaged with are extra doses of cuteness, but that kinda helps. Every time things get difficult I see how adorable and cute they are and somehow I lose the heart to go ballistic or use shortcut parenting.

20 comments:

  1. Hello Grace:
    We can very well imagine how very time consuming it must be to bring up children who, however much they may be loved and love in return, can be exceedingly demanding. And, we think that it goes on, even into adulthood, or so our parents would most likely say.

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  2. I hope your kids are well now. I'm sure you're an amazing mom. It's a very amusing and truthful post and I'm sure even at the 24/7 job that you have, it's satisfying just to see them happy.

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  3. LOL this made me laugh:
    *When my kid asks where babies come from
    Response: The FedEx guy just leaves them in doorsteps.

    Anyway, I agree with this: “Don’t get married and have kids before you’re physically, mentally, emotionally and financially ready.”

    TRUE. When I experienced my first (and hopefully last until I am really ready) pregnancy scare (oh God, I hope none of my folks get to read this), I was, well SCARED to death because I knew I wasn't physically, mentally, emotionally and financially prepared for motherhood. Goodness, I don't remember praying as hard as I did when I had that dilemma. It does take a STRONG WOMAN to be a mother and I guess I'm not that strong yet.

    Anyway, good luck with your angels. :)

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  4. It's true that before you get married, you should be physically, mentally, emotionally and financially ready. A couple should give patience to their relationship and should learn to adjust to be better partners and parents.

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  5. Key of O cracked me up. That's something truly new to me.

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  6. Lol! Now I know what I am doing.. shortcut parenting! lol!.. time to change time to change!!!

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  7. Samples of shortcut parenting made me smile!! Yes, I believe children should be guided properly...step by step....because they knew nothing yet...kaya parenting is no easy job! that's for sure!

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  8. Haha! I so love your humor Grace! I'm not one to say anything since I'm not married yet and have no kids of my own. But I do like how you've pointed out that rearing kids can indeed take a lifetime. It may be tiring and frustrating most times, but the love that your kids provide may bring out more accomplishments than anyone could ever ask for. :)

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  9. I have yet to do shortcut parenting but I guess I'd rather educate them well on what's appropriate and what is not.

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  10. indeed evryone should put in mind how many sacrifices to become a parent and how hard it is to understand kids while they're growing up! goodluck xx

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  11. As a dad-to-be in the coming weeks, I can't help but admit that this post helped me on how to deal with my soon-to-be baby. I mean technically, this post has a lot of information about parenting.

    Way to go!

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  12. As a mother ,I was trying really hard not to yell at my youngest son. The eldest son, probably got used to it. I learned so much about parenting from my husband. I learned to calm myself when both are fighting.if they fight over television show ,off the tv and they are grounded for a day or two, until they behave. Parenting is not as easy as we thought and needs a lot of patience.

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  13. raising children is both a challenge and a joy.

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  14. I feel you because my daughter used to stump me with questions when she was a toddler. Now that she's big, she has her way how to answer her own questions (classmates, Google, friends). I miss the old her...curious and nosy. Just enjoy your kids' inquisitiveness because you'll miss it too when they grow older.

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  15. Kids are like sponges thrust into the ocean. They absorb everything around them so it is important that parents are there to guide them properly.

    Anyway, I hope your angels are in good condition now. :)

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  16. i can totally relate with the math problems and the "go ask your father" thing. :( when i went to ask my father, my father told me to ask my mother. it's sad. i really had a hard time with math, and until now, i still do.

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  17. this really is a funny post and you are so right. I'm into shortcut parenting sometimes and I'm guilty of it. I used to answer "I don't know" if I don't feel like answering too many questions from them. :(

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  18. Funny and yet interesting post here. Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this. I hope I will be a parent soon.

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  19. kids food poisoned>hospital = horrible for us moms :( I hope they're ok now.

    ha ha the short cut parenting always works :)

    THANKS for visiting my site and dropping a comment to my "Aguinaldo" post. sorry I've just read your comment. it dived in the spam folder and I just fished it out :(

    I am liking your site, I've read 3 posts in one visit ;) I followed you in GFC and later I will put you in my blog post so I'll know when you update :)
    see yah around :)

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  20. Hi, Nice post! Would you please consider adding a link to my website on your page. Please email me back.

    Thanks!

    Harry
    harry.roger10@gmail.com

    ReplyDelete

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