There are some things that grow on me and that I cherish almost fondly like stretch marks and sunny days. Then there are things I just can’t stand like hemorrhoids and carbon monoxide.
For five years, I have had the enduring desire to buy or rent a place of my own for my family. That would mean my husband, kids and I would have to leave my in-laws. I have been called selfish, thoughtless and proud not by my in-laws but by an indirect, faceless voice.
Is it selfish to want to have some measure of self determination? Am I proud for wanting to be able to chart my own course, raise my kids my way and exist as an independent being?
My parents raised me to be extremely independent and they had a feeling I wouldn’t survive living in someone else’s kingdom. I never really understood what they were saying. It seems I had to shower under truckloads of poop to get the point. Now I hear them clearer over the noise of falling shit.