Saturday, January 24, 2009

To All the Customer Reps I’ve * Before

I am sorry. If a head of state can use the same line and make an entire nation forget her less than sparkling trail of shit, I can say it too and be forgiven, right?

I know how difficult your job is. I once passed a call center screening but never reported for my first day of work after I got my first sample call from a fake client who sounded like the world was ending and it was all because of my inability to solve his problem. 

I know it’s never really your fault when my wireless internet connection decides to take a hike without permission. I’ve been told it’s really the fault of those tall, healthy Indian and mango trees growing around my house and the random blowing of the wind that just happens to blow more randomly on my antenna than on others. 

But for the sake of my reputation and credibility, I can’t afford to show more proof of my deteriorating sanity by shaking my fists at the wind and the trees. That’s why I indulge in my weakness of peeing horrendously when my bladder is full. I’m sorry that you are always at the receiving end. 

It doesn’t help that when you make me wait for 2-4 minutes your corporate song plays and the only lyrics I hear is, “Maghihintay ako (I’ll be waiting).” Is that some kind of hypnotic suggestion trick? I’m telling you it has the opposite effect on me. The longer I hear it the more vitriolic fluid gets stored in my bladder. Oh, and did I mention that I studied politically correct forms of mild hypnosis in college, the ones they called Marketing 101 and Counseling so I am predisposed to reject all forms of subliminal suggestions to have patience equivalent to the height of Mt. Everest. 

Don’t worry though, you’ll probably never hear from me again. Since I can’t change the fact that I live in a windy place with lots of trees, I have finally decided to ditch my wireless connection for a wired one that’s supposed to be resistant to winds and obstacles. The thing is some of my wired pals also complain about wired connections. Does that mean that I will probably have a new set of customer service representatives to * now? Oh bother. I hope they can get beyond the pitch and tone of my voice and recognize my subliminal message: I am soooo sorry.

14 comments:

  1. thank you for your thoughts ms grace bout long dstance relationship! i rally i appreciate it!


    gagay

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  2. ma'am G! i am alive.

    could your connection have gone whacko because of the horrible weather our side of the country has been experiencing these past few days? (of course, i'm only assuming the weather's still horrible.)

    take care - of your sanity.
    chocolate helps. :)

    PS you didn't send me those flood pics you sent mary! weh, mahay na ko.

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  3. yey! you ditched your ISP! you should have done that before pa. hehe. wired is better but your desk would be really really messy like mine.hehe.

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  4. its so true carmz. gubot na akong table but i guess worth it ni kaysa kadtong mas gubot pa akong utok kay mamatay ang connection ug kalit. haha

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  5. Congratulations, I have finished my review of "Caustic Thoughts" and I'm happy to let you know that your blog has been added to Blogging Women.

    A big thank you for sharing your blog with me. It's an honor to add your blog to our women's blog directory.

    ReplyDelete
  6. omg! Smart Bro ba itech?? Gudluck kapatid!

    if it's smart bro, it's so wlang kwenta..lagi kaya kaming wlang connection at pag tumawag ka sa customer service nila gudluck din kc wlang kwenta bukod sa 10 mins kang magntay ng sasagot sau.

    nung indi kmi nagbayad ng 2 buwan...our connection was limited...idk kung fault un ng smart bro or connection problem lang un. it's so unfair. kasi babayaran pa rin naman namin ung days na nawala!

    the key is...pumunta ka sa center nila, either smart or globe or w/e un meron ka. tas magreklamo ka.

    ganyan ginawa namin nung kinabitan kami tas 2 wks nawala...hala gudluck naman un!

    as a consumer/buyer we have our rights...

    un lng..wehe..

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  7. at oo webie. smart bro nga at talagang nakaka imbyerna. yung customer service calls ko talagang forever akong pinapahintay. yung lyrics nang kanta "maghihintay ako" pa. parang hinihypnotize tayong mag antay talaga. hahay

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  8. I knew it! Smart Bro's the culprit! I hate Smart Bro gyud! The nerve mag-ingon ingon pa sila maka internet everywhere... Liar! Bwahahaha!

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  9. hahaha. so true carmz. katawa lang gyud ko sa imong reaction. liar man kaha... hehe

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  10. lol. true man sad.
    what's your ISP now, ma'am ???

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  11. globe na ko ron carmz but i'v been told problematic kuno gihapon ang globe. dapat daw nag bayantel nalang ko. tsk, tsk, sige, next year

    carmz pag blog na ba. si mac mac bitaw ga blog naman diay

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  12. carmz give it a try oi. kaya na nimo. pangalyas lang gud. hehe

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  13. smartbro in my place has a lot of internet speed connection

    ReplyDelete

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